================================================ Subject: RE: [ Creed Discuss ] NCR my drama From: "Lee Reed" To: discuss@creedlisters.com Date: Sun 20 Jun 2004 04:48:32 -0400 ================================================ jen, i know your pain...and will pray for you...i live this on a daily basis too...i have gone so far as to take mark's pills away from him, only allotting him so many a day,yet he still seems to run short...as a matter of fact, just tonight, he told me he is so sick and tired of the cycle, and that he wants to get off the pain meds, and how depressed he is (he quit taking his antidepressant, against my wishes), how he can't live the rest of his life on meds, and so on ( we have had this conversation many times over the past few years, and have yet to find an answer)...his ortho doc told him he could do a fusion, but that he could not guarantee that it would help...and i am firmly against another surgery, as is mark...he tried a tens unit once, and did not get any relief with that...have you done any research into alternatives, such as acupuncture? we should talk...i know we could help each other...you and i are fairly net savvy, between us we should be able to research alternatives...and find SOMETHING that works for one or both of you... Lee ps. i know how hard your confession was....i feel that i am enabling my husband by continuing to tell him that i understand, that as long as he takes his meds for what they are intended for, that he is okay...but i don't know what the hell else to do, you know? and it tears me apart, not only as his wife, but because i'm a nurse and I SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIX THIS! and i can't...so i continue to enable him in his use, because, goddamit, he IS using the meds for the right reason, why the hell can't his doctors do something for him to stop the pain? and btw, he is also seeing a pain management guy, but in my mind, he is nothing but a pill pusher too...okay, i'm in tears now...guess it's my confessional time too...i don't blame my husband for what has happened, it was a fucking accident, okay? but i have lost my house, i am filing for bankruptcy...all because he hurt his fucking back...it happens, and i don't blame him, but a part of me does, you know? I have been so depressed the past couple of years, this list has been probably the only place, outside of work, where i have felt comfortable, and yet i have have shared the above info with only one or two people. i myself am drinking way too much, guess it's my way of trying to cope...i have been a complete and total bitch with my children, who have gotten way out of hand because i've distanced myself from them because i just can't deal with them....i just had to ask my parents for $1700 to pay for my fucking electric to get turned back on...they had no idea how bad things were, and i think they still don't...all because i'm too damn proud to ask for help...okay, i'm done whining, this isn't i've got it worse than you do...what it boils down to, jen, is that there ARE other folks out there who know what you are going thru...and i am obviously one of them...what keeps me going is my family, my job, and the fact that no matter how bad things are for me, there's someone out there who has it worse than i do...since we have some things in common, how about we work together to find some of the answers? if we can help each other through this whole damn pain thing, i can't help but think that everything else will work out too... >From: Jen Hessenthaler >Reply-To: Creed Discuss Temporary Replacement >To: Creed Discuss Temporary Replacement >Subject: [ Creed Discuss ] NCR my drama >Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 13:02:21 -0500 > >So we need some conversation? Okay, so it's time for a confession. Ready? >This is kind of depressing, and shameful. _________________________________________________________________ MSN Toolbar provides one-click access to Hotmail from any Web page – FREE download! http://toolbar.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200413ave/direct/01/ _______________________________________________ Discuss mailing list Discuss@creedlisters.com http://lists.creedlisters.com/mailman/listinfo/discuss